how to not give a fuckpositive feedback loop
why your habits keep failing
you've tried to build new habits before. you start strong, last a week or two, then quietly abandon the whole thing. the problem isn't motivation or discipline. the problem is architecture.
habits are loops, not events. if you only design the action without designing the trigger and the payoff, the loop never closes and the habit never sticks.
the three r's of habit creation
reminder — the trigger that initiates the behavior. this could be a time of day, a location, an emotion, or another completed action. "after i pour my morning coffee" is a reminder. "i should probably exercise more" is not.
routine — the actual behavior you want to perform. this needs to be specific and small enough that it requires almost zero willpower. "do 10 pushups" beats "work out for an hour."
reward — the payoff your brain receives for completing the loop. this is what makes your brain want to repeat the cycle. the reward can be internal (a sense of accomplishment) or external (checking off a box, treating yourself to something).
how the loop becomes automatic
the first few times you run the loop, it takes conscious effort. but every time the reminder triggers the routine and the routine delivers the reward, the neural pathway gets stronger. eventually, the reminder automatically triggers the routine without you having to think about it.
this is how brushing your teeth works. the reminder (getting ready for bed) triggers the routine (brushing) which delivers the reward (clean feeling). you don't deliberate about it. the loop runs on autopilot.
design your loop
pick one habit you want to build. now design all three components:
- what's the reminder? attach it to something you already do every day
- what's the routine? make it embarrassingly small to start
- what's the reward? make it immediate and satisfying
the secret to behavior change isn't trying harder. it's designing better loops. build the architecture and your brain will do the rest.
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